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Single Women are Families, Too

Rocky the Boxer has a new picture perfect family.


Which sucks for Rocky.


Rocky was surrendered to a shelter by his first family because “they did not have time for an energetic dog like him.”


Apparently this family is a family of Luddites who don’t know about Google; a little bit of research on the breed would have saved everyone involved heartache and aggravation.


Dogtime gives Boxers Five Stars for Energy Level, Intensity, Exercise Needs and Potential for Playfulness. Five equals the MOST. Not good if you don’t have time.


So, I guess as sad and irresponsible as it is to get and then give up a dog, at least Rocky had a second chance at finding a lifetime of love and special attention.


That is, if the shelter didn’t look in all the wrong places like most almost always do.


Of course animal rescuers are compassionate, generous people; they dedicate an incredibly large portion of their time and lives to saving unwanted and abused pets. Shelter staffs, paid and unpaid, are nicer than anyone, anywhere. Really.


They want nothing but the best for their furry charges and will go to any length to secure each and every one a better future.


Or so they think.


In Rocky’s case, rescuers took every precaution to find the perfect home for Rocky. After interviewing several potential adopters, Rocky was placed in a house in the suburbs with a big, fenced yard, a mom, a dad and three little boys.


How dumb is that?


Yes, you read that right: DUMB. The shelter who rescued Rocky blew it. They probably even truly believe Rocky could not be in a better situation. Grass, kids, two parents. To them, and maybe to you, it sounds like a dog-dream come true.


Folks seem fixated on this picture of kids rough-housing and playing fetch outside with the dog, with a stay-at-home mom setting the table and a dad manning the barbecue, both smiling and proud as they watch the shenanigans in the yard.


That’s not life; that’s an insurance commercial.


Anyone who thinks a “family” with a quarter acre of grass is perfect for Rocky isn’t paying attention.


Here’s the thing:

He could have had me.

dempsey in bed



Rocky could be in my house, with my Millie, right now. Correction, Rocky would be at Doggie Day Care with Millie right now because it is Wednesday and I am writing this at work. Millie goes to Day Care on Mondays and Wednesdays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I pay someone to walk her.




Oh, and on Fridays, I am a work-at-home mom.


If people knew the truth about single women and dogs, Rocky would be feasting on a food with one ingredient: chicken. Then he would fall sound asleep on one of the three dog beds on my first floor.


At 9:00, we would go on the last walk of the day and then have a snack of lunch-meat or peanut-butter, before “sleepies-time” with Mommy. In Mommy’s bed. Or in one of the dog beds on the second floor, including the one with the full-sized, pillow-top mattress on an antique frame guests occasionally sleep in too.


Instead, Rocky will annoy the “perfect” family found for him. Every kid ever who promised to walk the dog LIED. Every mom knows it.


In reality, mom must keep the house straight so the dog won’t eat anything.


In reality, mom has to yell at keep after the kids to pick up their gear so the dog won’t eat anything.


In reality, kids leave crap all over the place and then whine to mom when the dog eats everything.


In reality, the kids play video games, indoors.


In reality, the lovely yard that sealed the deal and Rocky’s fate is a prison.


Rocky will be put outside, alone, whenever he gets on someone’s nerves. Since he will be living with five people, that’s five times as many chances for him to be declared a nuisance and banished to the yard. Oh, and all five people will think someone else is taking care of the dog.


Sure, I am happy Rocky got out of the shelter alive and not too much worse for the wear. But the rescuers blew it.


At his new house, Rocky will in all likelihood alternate between being a pet and a pest.


At my house, Rocky would emulate his namesake when we ran up the Philadelphia Art Museum steps- at least three times a week.


Rocky and Millie would rule and I would be the faithful servant, tending to their every need and desire.


Which wouldn’t suck for Rocky at all.


So, shelterers everywhere, listen up: if you want the best future for your furry charges, put single women at the top of the adopters list. We give all our love and money to our dogs. Single women are families too.

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