50 Secrets, Surprises and Confessions about Single Women and the Sweet Side of 40
What we can live with, what we can’t live without and what’s up with that?
1) Your house is cleaner when you take off your glasses.
2) Cheese is dinner and cereal is any meal.
3) People you’ve known the longest don’t love you the most.
4) Friends are more important than lovers.
5) It’s OK if you don’t know everything. Fortunately, you do.
6) French lingerie can be worn daily. I’d say should but #7.
7) All your “should-do’s” should be health related. Everything else should be “want-to-do’s.”
8) Estee Lauder, Laura Mercier and Bobbi Brown are modern day saints.
9) People think you are smarter. Also, #33.
10) Using any appliance to prepare a meal means you cooked. This includes the refrigerator.
11) Toothbrushes, flip-flops, the bathroom trashcan — basically anything that fits — goes in the dishwasher.
12) Flowers buy a lot of good will.
13) Your love life is more interesting to others than you are.
14) One equals two when the bill is divided among singles and couples.
15) You are in better shape than you were in high school.
16) The sun damage is done. But not over; you will wear sunscreen every day for the rest of your life.
17) Wine can be paired with food but it doesn’t have to be.
18) The death of a pet is a profound loss.
19) There is never any excuse to be rude but if you are forced to, enjoy it.
20) Loyalty is rewarded.
21) PMS is for sissies compared to menopause.
22) You get more sleep when you sleep alone. And maybe you like to sleep alone.
23) Being a good friend means showing up. You show up.
24) Payless is the new Louboutin.
25) It’s called work for a reason, and you should be compensated appropriately for doing it.
26) You can turn down any invitation by saying, “No, thanks.”
27) Funerals are more important than weddings.
28) Everybody else got old.
29) Travel is easier when you pack only what you need.
30) You pack everything else anyway. Also, #34
31) Your credit rating. Surprisingly good, I hope.
32) Money really does change everything
33) Older really is wiser.
34) Some luxuries are necessities.
35) Mistakes are erased from your permanent record by time and memory loss.
36) “A lot of time in the bathroom” is relative.
37) Other people’s messes are messier than yours.
38) Everything you do to your house costs twice as much as you think.
39) Everything you do to your house takes four times longer than you think.
40) When you say a prayer for patience, life gives you more chances to have it answered.
41) Even with fresh batteries, remote controls don’t work on people.
42) Other battery-operated devices do work on people. (Vibrators, ladies, not tasers)
43) You have the strength of the goddess anti-Nike: Forced to do it.
44) Problems are bigger. Consequences are worse.
45) The stakes are higher when other people are involved.
46) Most victims aren’t.
47) If you ask nicely, people like to help.
48) You can pick among your relatives.
49) You can be single and happy.
50) Life is good. Really good.
Do you have a secret, surprise or confession about 40+ single life? Leave a comment, email or tweet me @beth_odonnell with your sweet stuff.