10 Monumental Decisions Every Single Woman Must Make Every Day
Single women make dozens of critical decisions every day, starting with whether not to resist the urge to stay in bed. Maybe even earlier- like at 2:30 AM. Same decision, different urge.
Married women face some of the same choices but the stakes are not as high as for singles. They don’t worry about getting un-single and they have a Plan B for money matters (a spouse). Plus, isn’t one of the great joys of marriage not having to care about your appearance?
Singles, on the other hand, are left on their own to sort through dichotomous options which lead to vastly different outcomes, alternatively awful or awesome. We pick what we feel best serves our needs in the moment and for the long-haul. What constitute “needs” is in the eye of the decider.
One choice most of my single friends did not make is remaining so. Single, that is. To torture paraphrase Shakespeare, we are born single. Nine in 10 of us unwillingly achieved single and 40+. Still single was thrust upon us. So was 40. And 50. And 60.
Fending for yourself requires greatness. Good thing SingleandtheSweetSideof40.com readers are great.
Life bitch-slaps a girl who can’t make a decision. Which do you choose?
10 Monumental Decisions Every Single Woman Must Make
1. Truth or dare: Single women are interrogated about their age, as if the answer might explain why we are not married. Do you dare tell your age? Or do you tell the truth? I tell the truth.
The truth is, I am on the Sweet Side of 40, and
I will be for the rest of my life.
Asked, answered. I might update the number when I am on the Sweet Side of a Century. I might not. Next time someone asks how you old are, choose to be daring and be precise or choose to tell the truth.
2. Botox or bangs: When faced with fissures in your forehead, what do you do? Bless you, sweet one, if you are moving through the aging process serenely. I am at war with wrinkles. Sun damage is my sworn-at enemy
Botox and assorted Allergan products ain’t cheap. Neither am I but lately, I can’t afford semi-annual skin rejuvenation. After months- seriously 4 months- of simulating fringe on my face and staring at my bank account, bangs won. Hair always grows, money doesn’t.
2a. Long or short: A subcategory of Bangs. Fashion and lifestyle magazines give conflicting advice. For instance, did you know our hair should get shorter as our earlobes get longer? Unruly new hairs, stubborn grays and general thinning mean our manes look best closer to our scalps.
New hair AND hair loss- see the conflict?
So you pixie-fy yourself, only to turn the page and behold fresh and youthful long hair styles. With bangs. When it comes to your head, listen to your heart. Let your tresses go or shear every strand. Hair always grows, magazines don’t.
3. Cat or dog. As I write this, my puppy is trying to “help” and my old boy is snoozing at my feet. Clearly my choice is dog but we all love our furry babies so why is this a toss and turner?
Crazy cat ladies.
Single women are caricaturized as pathetic, unstable, lonely and desperate enough to hoard cats and cards from ex-bfs. If you think this is silly, please think again. I participated in a friend’s adopt-a-cat or -dog debate. Her fear of being thought of as crazy cat lady made a shelter dog very happy.
4. Go solo or no go. The double edged fork. What do you do when invited to an event- family reunion, wedding, party? Do you go alone or not at all? Endure the discomfort/enjoy the company vs. snuggle puppies/sip Prosecco?
Unless it’s your father asking and the decision is out of your hands, you control your calendar.
When you feel like you are the one of those thing not like the others and you feel like you don’t belong, give yourself PTSH* then decide. Take the pressure off; reduce your anxiety level a bit and at least peruse your closet, in case you do go. A LBD might be the just the right confidesiac.
*Permission to stay home
5. Cash or credit. Are you disciplined enough to pay off balances every month? Did you go to London and Paris three times for free because your credit card gives you travel rewards?
Pay as you go, cash or credit. Or debit, which is cash. Revolving credit balances are not evil if you aren’t paying interest. Compounding interest compounds debt and problems. Satan is in the fine print.
6. Spend or save (saving while you spend doesn’t count). Singles are supposedly bad with money. (I call it keeping the economy robust.) Since housing accounts for almost 40 percent of our net income, our so-called wild spending is pre-made salads half the time.
Saving is nearly impossible. Spending is so much fun.
We know we have to, retirement and all that. But then, during non-salad time, the perfect LBD jumps off the rack and sneaks into our wallet. See #4. Be reasonable. You don’t need shoes to match the dress. Keep your IRA fully funded. Stash some cash out of reach of your hot little spendthrift hands.
7. Cook or clean. Trick question. Neither.
8. New or used. Used is the better economic choice when it comes to cars. Not so for men. Pesky little things like alimony and child support mean a previously-owned man is on a budget. On the Sweet Side of 40, though, new is rare and not likely to be in mint condition.
Significant others have defects. So do we.
New has a clean slate, which, to be honest, I prefer, although used has proven commit-ability. Whether he makes you laugh or not is the deciding factor.
9. Text or call. Introverts hate the phone. We hate the nerve-jangling ringing and fear the unknown reason for the call. We don’t want to talk to you unless you are in the room. So,
At some point, like the first few weeks or months (months?!!) of a relationship, whether friends or foes romantic, speaking shows you are “in,” that you want to get to know the person and make plans. I’d rather text but when was the last time you told someone your favorite food via SMS?
(Related: date or not date)
10. Love or money. Love, right? Not so fast. Take a deep breath and look to the future. If forced to choose one or the other, which can you not live without?
Money can’t buy me love but it can buy me a house.
Confession: I love being in love. I love having a significant or even semi-significant other. But, as several periods over the course of my life have demonstrated, I can live without it. And since the closest I get to camping is a Quality Inn, I need money in the bank more than a man in my bed. Dammit.
Take my insight with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila. And ask me again tomorrow, if I get out of bed.
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Here’s an easy decision: download 25 Reasons Why You Are God’s Gift to the World.
Bangs or Botox? Leave your answer in the comments.