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The Royal Pains Series Finale Was Exactly That: a Royal Pain

Hank's royal pain of an ending

The Royal Pains series finale was exactly that, and it left me with just one thing to say: put your hands down again, patriots.

 

I take it all back. I saluted USA too soon. All hands on hips.

 

“At ease” is the official command for ceasing military gestures, sure, but the last minute of the last episode of Royal Pains, un-ease bordering on dis-ease was my dominant feeling. The unofficial gesture I made in reaction only needed one finger, not four.

 

SMH. I must have been an idiot, hailing a television network as a leader in diversity in its depictions of my fellow Americans: Single people.

 

Nope, USA Network, the writers, the producers, whoever, just could not resist a trip to Cliché Island.

 

They did what Hollywood always does: substitute societal expectations for creativity. Instead of depicting Dr. Hank Lawson as the happy man on his own he proclaimed himself to be just a week earlier, they caved in to cultural biases, or just gave up trying, and settled for a biased, boring finale.

 

Which means they made Hank settle, too.  They tied up his story by tying him down. Who saw that coming? To be honest, not me.

USA, I Salute You

fireworks USA flag

USA, I salute you.

 

My fellow single Americans, join me.

 

Salute Royal Pains.

 

Because they let Hank be Hank. And Hank is single.

Good Friendship vs. Bad Romance: Guess Who Wins?

Good Friend Bad Romance

  Good Friendship vs. Bad Romance: Guess Who Wins?     Why are women outraged, devastated and horrified when a friend does us wrong, but manage to limit our emotions to hurt and confused when the love of our life turns out to be a cheating-ass liar?     You won’t forgive her in a million years but him? You forget his sins in weeks, or days or sometimes mere minutes.     You know the story—the one where the friends and lovers hook up. Imagine it’s your story: they are YOUR friends and YOUR lovers.  Want to bet you give your bestie the boot and give him a chance to explain?     Perhaps you have a less messy tale of treachery, like a friend who was vocal and loud about your lousy...

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Are You the Best Supporting Actress to Everyone in Your Life?

and the emmy goes to

 

And the Award for Best Supporting Actress goes to….. YOU!

 

 

You, because as a single woman, you are the best of the best at being supportive to the cast of characters you have in your life.

 

 

Whether it’s the drama queen or crazy be-atch you hang out with, the weird uncle you get stuck with, the fun aunt you travel with…. the nosy neighbor, long-suffering parent, work husband, childhood pal, incompetent boss or irritating coworker…

 

 

You listen. You ask questions. You give solicited advice or simple encouragement. You applaud, you bail out, you bite your tongue.

 

 

You help.  You show up.

 

 

You don’t expect an award, though a gold statue might look good on your mantel.

The Single Suckiest Part About Being Single

Being single sucks

 

If you have been single since you were born, or divorced for about 15 minutes, you know a thing or two about the lifestyle, like:

 

 

Being Single Doesn’t Suck.

 

 

But parts of it do.

 

 

Because parts of everything suck; clearly, parts of being coupled suck. Dealing with another person day in and day out, year in and year out, with only the promise of death part can be mighty sucky.

If You Don’t Have One of These Enemies You Are Doing Something Wrong

enemies a love story

 

Do you have a good old fashioned enemy? A dance on her grave, spit in his soup full-blown enemy?

 

 

Don’t be shy. Is there a person you really, really hate, with every fiber of your being, and you are beyond certain the world would be a better place without him or her in it?

 

 

Do you despise her perfect peaches and cream complexion? Is his gravelly voice an assault on your ears? Does your hair stand on end at the mention of her name? Does it take superhuman effort to stop your eyes from rolling when he brings up his latest brilliant idea?

 

 

Congratulations, you lucky duck.

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