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The 10 Best Answers to the 1 Worst Question for Single Women

Sorry you asked.

You’re doing your thing. Smiling, small talking, surveying the scene, when out of the something-borrowed-something-blue, your sister’s friend, your cousin or co-worker obliterates personal boundaries by deciding, WTF, it can’t hurt to ask:

“I always wondered, pretty girl like you, *Why Aren’t You Married?”

AKA, you’ve been *WAYM’d (like wham, minus George Michael).

First of all, you must be headless if you believe “pretty” has anything to do with married. Hideous folks get hitched every day.

Second, any single woman, especially those of us on the Sweet Side of 40 or 50, politely says WTF, it does, in fact, hurt to ask. Maybe a pinch, more likely a punch. Only about 10% of American adults know the reason they remain unwed and blissful: those who know they do not want to be legally married. (Ironically, I got that stat from a sponsored study.)

Third, ever heard the saying, “There are no stupid questions, just stupid people?” Turns out, there are both.

Why aren’t you married? Stupid.

Why are you still single? Stupid.

When are you going to settle down? Stupid.

Are you divorced? Really really stupid.

I’ve been asked all those stupid questions and every variation of the same basic inquisition: why don’t I have a husband? By now, I’m lucky (I think– I’m not in the 10%, so it’s only a shred of luck at best). I don’t get WAYM’d quite so often.

Word gets out when you are “sensitive” about your status.

Moreover, my nearest and dearest are over it; they love me the way I am. The queries come a few times year, though at every single wedding. (See what I did there? Single + Wedding? HA!) I don’t go to reunions and WAYM is half the reason why. (Boredom is the other half.)

50 Secrets, Surprises and Confessions about Single Women and the Sweet Side of 40

What we can live with, what we can’t live without and what’s up with that?

1) Your house is cleaner when you take off your glasses.

2) Cheese is dinner and cereal is any meal.

3) People you’ve known the longest don’t love you the most.

4) Friends are more important than lovers. 

5) It’s OK if you don’t know everything. Fortunately, you do.

6) French lingerie can be worn daily. I’d say should but #7.

7) All your “should-do’s” should be health related. Everything else should be “want-to-do’s.”

8) Estee Lauder, Laura Mercier and Bobbi Brown are modern day saints.

9) People think you are smarter. Also, #33. 

What Single Women Over 40 Really Want in Bed (Batteries included)

Do you know what women want in bed?

If you are a single woman on the Sweet Side of 40, chances are you do. Chances are you are intimately familiar with your body- and not just the effects of gravity. By the time a Big “0” birthday comes around, a woman knows her own O’s.

We know what we need, how we like to feel and when to move a little to the left. We know if we are too tired and when we need assistance from personal electronics. Our nightstands are as well-stocked as a hotel min-bar, minus the tiny bottles. (Or not.)

We mostly keep the secrets of what we want between the sheets within the sisterhood. Women discuss performance issues and bodily measurements—his, not hers—at greater length and in greater detail than the worst locker room talk imaginable.

The difference between the girl-talk and guy-talk is, we aren’t bragging. Well, maybe sometimes, for “educational” purposes. Usually, we are intrigued and eager to hear who did what to whom and where it ended up. We warn each other of Carlos Danger-types. We applaud every “oh my god.”

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