Sorry you asked.
You’re doing your thing. Smiling, small talking, surveying the scene, when out of the something-borrowed-something-blue, your sister’s friend, your cousin or co-worker obliterates personal boundaries by deciding, WTF, it can’t hurt to ask:
“I always wondered, pretty girl like you, *Why Aren’t You Married?”
AKA, you’ve been *WAYM’d (like wham, minus George Michael).
First of all, you must be headless if you believe “pretty” has anything to do with married. Hideous folks get hitched every day.
Second, any single woman, especially those of us on the Sweet Side of 40 or 50, politely says WTF, it does, in fact, hurt to ask. Maybe a pinch, more likely a punch. Only about 10% of American adults know the reason they remain unwed and blissful: those who know they do not want to be legally married. (Ironically, I got that stat from a match.com sponsored study.)
Third, ever heard the saying, “There are no stupid questions, just stupid people?” Turns out, there are both.
Why aren’t you married? Stupid.
Why are you still single? Stupid.
When are you going to settle down? Stupid.
Are you divorced? Really really stupid.
I’ve been asked all those stupid questions and every variation of the same basic inquisition: why don’t I have a husband? By now, I’m lucky (I think– I’m not in the 10%, so it’s only a shred of luck at best). I don’t get WAYM’d quite so often.
Word gets out when you are “sensitive” about your status.
Moreover, my nearest and dearest are over it; they love me the way I am. The queries come a few times year, though at every single wedding. (See what I did there? Single + Wedding? HA!) I don’t go to reunions and WAYM is half the reason why. (Boredom is the other half.)