to top

I Won’t Respect You in the Morning

I won't respect you in the morning

 

“If I have sex with you, I’ll never see you again.”

 

“Sure you will. I’m not that kind of guy.”

 

Isn’t that cute? He thought I was worried he would not respect me the morning after our “third date.”

Sex Policies Not Just for Valentine’s Day (or Valentines)

Candy, roses, wine for Valentine's

 

For an occasion supposedly about romance, Valentine’s Day seems a lot more like a celebration of the pleasures of the flesh. Sensual floral scents. Mouth-watering, lip-smacking sweets. Champagne, spirits and other fruits of the vine.  Stimulating, satiating sex.

 

 

Count me in.

 

 

From where I sit—my sofa – none of those indulgences requires a duo. In fact, my solo V-day 2015 includes:

 

 

Rose’s from Trader Joe’s. I’m no stranger to buying a bouquet for myself but this tiny pot was irresistible and might even last til Easter.

 

 

Truffles from La Chocolaterie. A friend left some fancy candy in my mailbox. I guess he fancies me. I fancy Peanut M&Ms.  I’m a milk chocolate kind of gal.

 

 

Prosecco- my bubbly of choice and only 10% alcohol by volume. (Though it’s usually the volume that gets me, not the % alcohol.)

 

 

Sex. I will leave this up to your imagination because, barring the intervention of an armed, infant angel, I will also be leaving it up to mine as well.

 

 

Single Women and Dicks: Up, Down or By the Numbers?

Mae West A hard man is good to find

 

Is that a pistol in your pocket

or are you just happy to see me?

Mae West

 

Dicks.

 

I’m a huge fan. Huge.

 

Because size counts. In genitalia and personality. Granted, huge only looks good on the former but the latter can wear it well when it counts, too.

 

For instance, say it’s me being the dick (dick is gender-neutral ). Then it’s go big and go home. Probably crying. My inner dick only rears her ugly head when hyper-stimulated. Thusly, if my knickers are in a twist, somebody has it coming.

%d bloggers like this: