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29 Things I Did Not Do Last Weekend

Feet up relaxing

Screw the To Do List.

 

That’s my motto, or it would be if I made To Do Lists. Because guess what:

 

To Do Lists are not legally binding.

 

However, they are enforceable.

 

Just ask any woman who has another adult living under her roof. Especially a life partner. Non-performance may result in evil stares, passive aggressive grunts or under-the-breath invective spewing.

 

Should her other head-of-household remain out of compliance with To Do obligations- obligations which are literally spelled out in black and white –his or her personal property is at risk of destruction, and divorce becomes a distinct possibility.

 

That my friends, is why living alone is the best.

 

The B.E.S.T best.

The Joys of Not Dating: 15 Side Benefits of Staying Home More Often

relaxing alone in the tub

 

Are you dating?

 

 

Did your answer start with, “Uh…?” It’s a tougher question than we think, tougher (though no less rude) than “are you dating anyone special?” I know I hem and haw when someone asks if I am dating– mainly because the definition of dating is confusing and can make a girl feel bad.

 

 

For example, does dating mean anything other than married, engaged or co-habitating? Or is dating having a semi-significant other you see most Saturday nights? Is it having a first date on the calendar?

 

 

Shouldn’t intention be part of the definition, or at least the question: Do you WANT to date? Is dating your goal? Then, dating might be actively searching for a companion, seeking fix-ups and generally doing what we do to attract a paramour, whether or not the hoped-for dinner, movie and fireworks result.

 

 

Being brave enough to set up a Match.com, okcupid.com or OurTime.com profile surely counts as a “yes, I am dating.” Suffering through nine thousand eHarmony questions shouldn’t lead to the further torment of being reminded, in public, that your efforts have not yet been rewarded.

 

(It’s not my fault computers don’t “get me.”)

 

12 Confidence Tricks and a Parking Spot

Magic tricks

 

Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that you can make anything happen.

Goethe

 

Do you believe in magic?

 

You should. You’re a magician.

 

Maybe you can’t do card tricks or saw people in two (if you can, ask me about a couple of ‘volunteers from the audience’ to practice on).

 

You can, however, conjure forces and levitate spirits by whispering prayers, wishing on stars, affirming and meditating. You do simple magic with every “help me” and “thank you.”

 

You also can make objects disappear. Like socks and keys. Or entire cars. That’s my magic. I cast parking spells by forming an “O” with my index fingers and thumbs and chanting “parking karma” three times. A spot appears like Track 9 ¾.

 

But how does our magic work? Cars come and go; my arrival should not cause the sudden availability of room for a Chevy. Still, it seems time and parking space bend for me ONLY if I perform the spell in time– before circling with the rest of the motoring mortals.

 

Crazy, right? No. Just right. So say University of Cologne psychologists. In 2010, they unraveled one mystery of human mystical abilities: confidence.

 

In the researchers first experiment, volunteers were asked to bring lucky charms to a test. Moderators took the charms from one group but not another before the test. Use your ESP. Who scored higher?

 

In a second experiment, participants performed a timed activity. The “starting gun” for one group was the word “go” while a second group began upon hearing, “I press the thumbs for you.” Guess who did better?

 

Trick question. The flat-thumbed group was faster. Pressing thumbs is the German equivalent of crossing fingers.

 

In all, four different trials produced consistent results: people not only did better in the presence of a rabbit’s foot or after the mention of twisted digits, they also predicted they would.

 

The Cologne researchers concluded that activating superstitions, directly or indirectly, increased the participants’ confidence, and the additional confidence improved performances.

 

In other words, confidence is magic.

20 Reasons to Believe in the Magic of Christmas

Christmas magic

 

Thank goodness dogs can’t write to Santa. 

 

My delightful, smart, perfectly imperfect friend Cathy was on the phone with her husband, in frantic discussion: what to get her children for Christmas.

 

Her younger son’s letter to the chubby guy is lengthy and specific, albeit with some creative spelling. She’s a lawyer with a keen eye so she didn’t have to check it twice to see everything could be found on-line or in Toys R Us.

 

Her older son, however, is seven years old. He is fighting the evidence and the bigger kids to hang on to Santa one last time. He had a single item on his Christmas list.

 

Magic.

22 Easy Lessons to Be Thankful You Learned- Even the Hard Way

Be thankful you learned

 

Ever notice how easy it is to learn things the hard way?

 

They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Just not necessarily the first time. They don’t tell you that part.

 

First, a mix of denial and determination convince you will succeed if only you try, try again. Easy peasy.

 

Next comes the emotional amnesia. For no discernible medical reason, we, or at least I, have no memory of the insult and injury and thus get lost on the path of least resistance.

 

When you regain consciousness, admitting there is a problem that cannot be solved is the first step. So you sleep walk for a while longer and put your auto-immune system on auto-pilot.

 

Eventually, maybe later or maybe sooner, the Band-Aid falls off and you are strong enough to be at the intersection of hope and experience.

 

I am one of those humans who respects wisdom but obeys pain. If I knew then what I know now, I might only make the same mistake half the time. As easy as it was be accepted to the school of hard knocks, passing all the tests is brutal.

 

When you do, when you graduate, months or years later, you are truly thankful there was a lesson to learn. Even if it was the hard way.

Single Women Have A Wishbone to Pick with Thanksgiving

Make a wish

 

Single women have a wishbone to pick with Thanksgiving, an emotional wishbone.

For us, “Turkey Day” has the potential to live up to its nickname every year.

 

For starters, we wish any pain experienced endures only until our underthings are unloosed.

 

We wish our turkey and Beaujolais nouveau pairing is acceptable to white wine puritans.

 

We wish the drive home goes as fast as the feeding frenzy.

 

We wish pumpkin pie is not the only dessert.

 

We wish the Eagles beat the Cowboys.

 

Those last two might just be me.

 

Our belts are not the only thing tugging at us. We have a cornucopia of conflicting emotions.  

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