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The Royal Pains Series Finale Was Exactly That: a Royal Pain

Hank's royal pain of an ending

The Royal Pains series finale was exactly that, and it left me with just one thing to say: put your hands down again, patriots.

 

I take it all back. I saluted USA too soon. All hands on hips.

 

“At ease” is the official command for ceasing military gestures, sure, but the last minute of the last episode of Royal Pains, un-ease bordering on dis-ease was my dominant feeling. The unofficial gesture I made in reaction only needed one finger, not four.

 

SMH. I must have been an idiot, hailing a television network as a leader in diversity in its depictions of my fellow Americans: Single people.

 

Nope, USA Network, the writers, the producers, whoever, just could not resist a trip to Cliché Island.

 

They did what Hollywood always does: substitute societal expectations for creativity. Instead of depicting Dr. Hank Lawson as the happy man on his own he proclaimed himself to be just a week earlier, they caved in to cultural biases, or just gave up trying, and settled for a biased, boring finale.

 

Which means they made Hank settle, too.  They tied up his story by tying him down. Who saw that coming? To be honest, not me.

USA, I Salute You

fireworks USA flag

USA, I salute you.

 

My fellow single Americans, join me.

 

Salute Royal Pains.

 

Because they let Hank be Hank. And Hank is single.

Are You the Best Supporting Actress to Everyone in Your Life?

and the emmy goes to

 

And the Award for Best Supporting Actress goes to….. YOU!

 

 

You, because as a single woman, you are the best of the best at being supportive to the cast of characters you have in your life.

 

 

Whether it’s the drama queen or crazy be-atch you hang out with, the weird uncle you get stuck with, the fun aunt you travel with…. the nosy neighbor, long-suffering parent, work husband, childhood pal, incompetent boss or irritating coworker…

 

 

You listen. You ask questions. You give solicited advice or simple encouragement. You applaud, you bail out, you bite your tongue.

 

 

You help.  You show up.

 

 

You don’t expect an award, though a gold statue might look good on your mantel.

If You Don’t Have One of These Enemies You Are Doing Something Wrong

enemies a love story

 

Do you have a good old fashioned enemy? A dance on her grave, spit in his soup full-blown enemy?

 

 

Don’t be shy. Is there a person you really, really hate, with every fiber of your being, and you are beyond certain the world would be a better place without him or her in it?

 

 

Do you despise her perfect peaches and cream complexion? Is his gravelly voice an assault on your ears? Does your hair stand on end at the mention of her name? Does it take superhuman effort to stop your eyes from rolling when he brings up his latest brilliant idea?

 

 

Congratulations, you lucky duck.

1 Question Every Single Woman Should Answer for Herself– Not Everybody Else

Single women should answer the question for themselves, not everybody else.

 

“So, are you dating?”

 

 

Ugh. How loud do you groan when you hear that question? Do you route a path to the nearest exit or scan the area for objects you can use as a weapon or a shield?

 

 

To a bystander, the inquiry might seem like friendly, idle chit chat.  The problem with idle chit chat about dating is you can never be sure whether the idle will turn into The Inquisition.

 

 

You remember The Inquisition, right? That’s where fun-loving religious leaders tortured the heretics who did not adhere to their rituals and beliefs.

 

 

Kind of like being single in a marriage-first-last-always society.

 

 

Unless the asker is a stranger, it’s obvious, to you anyway, that he or she really wants know whether or not you are in a relationship and why are you still single???

 

 

The question itself, however, is like the riddle of the Sphinx, if the Sphinx was not the site of virgin sacrifices. Any answer can be right or wrong, depending on the person and the place.

The 7 Friends Every Single Woman Needs

friends

“That’s the thing about friendship;

it’s a lot rarer than love, because there is nothing in it for anybody.”

Owen Wilson, in “Are You Here”

 

 

Friendship is mind-blowing.

 

 

Think about it: your friends willingly and voluntarily provide you with a near-endless supply of love and support.

 

 

Solely for the pleasure of your company.

 

 

And you do the same for them. Willingly and voluntarily. No quid pro quo.

 

 

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